literature

Goodbye Big Brother (Gotham Pets AU Fic)

Deviation Actions

JeannieHobbes's avatar
Published:
437 Views

Literature Text

Lou stared at the door as he was mentally preparing himself for what he was about to see. It seemed like hours ago when he saw his older twin brother Bud got ran over by a pick-up truck the day before and Lou with Carroll and Whitey had to drag him into his bed. Whitey did his best to patch up the injured hyena, but only so much could be fixed. Lou then opened the door to see a bandaged and bloody brown lump of fur that is his brother, lying down on the doggy bed.

"Hey, Lou..... seems like you came to see me eh?" Bud said with a strained voice. Lou walked and sat next to Bud.

"Yeah... I have to vist you don't I? I'm your brother after all" Lou responded as he faintly smiled, but to turn back into a frown. Bud reached and grabed his younger brother's paw as he winced in pain, "No matter how much Whitey, Carroll, and you try to make me heathly again.... I'm going to die, Lou."

"No! Don't say that kinda shit! You'll make it through this, I promise!" Lou screamed as tear began to well up in his eyes.
"I got ran over by a pick-up truck for God's sake, Lou. You think a lot of animals survive that? Sure, Whitey did a good job wrapping me up, but that only does so much for me, Lou!"
Bud shouted as he hissed in pain and agony. Bud then laid his bed down on his small pillow his mistress, Harley had made him when he was a cub.
"Bud.... please... don't leave me.... I'm not ready to be alone..." Lou whimpered with tears freely flowing on his face as his laid his head gently on the paw that was holding his dieing brother's. "This is too painful for me, Lou.... it's only better that I do die...."

"But what about Whitey and Carroll" Lou responded confused.

"Whitey will understand and he can comfort Carroll.... Whitey's like a father to her after all" Bud reassured as he got weaker and weaker.

"I love you, Lou.... and whatever happens after this moment.... stay strong... stay positive.... it'll help everyone out after this.... please listen to me, Lou.... this is very important that you do..... I love you.... you are my dear brother..... Take care of Carroll for me..... will ya?...." Bud then closed his eyes.... and then passed away.... with a smile on his face.
Sad shit once again because ideas.


Summary: What if Bud died?


I hope you enjoy
© 2015 - 2024 JeannieHobbes
Comments2
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Troublemute's avatar
Okay, so


I'll be honest; this was actually wrote kind of well if it's one of your first time fanfics. Still, there are mistakes, so...

-You should drag out scenes more 
-Everything a new character speaks, you have to add a new paragraph.  Weird rule, I know, but that's the way it is.
-You should add more detail to the atmosphere.
-You should spell check the fic. I see spelling errors.
-Add comas more
-There are punctuation errors too.


Aside from that, you're not that bad at writing.